Dear World, My Sincerest Apologies – Please Forgive Me

Dear World,

I would like to offer you all my sincerest apologies. Please forgive me.

Over the past 5 days, I have been shitty in returning text messages and emails, I have not posted some things that I have needed to post, or keeping up with people and projects that I need to keep up with.

From the depths of my humble heart, I apologize, and I promise you that it will not happen again.

Why has this been happening? Well… over the past five days, I have taken on a task that many deemed insane, if not impossible to accomplish.

My friends, countrymen, women, and whatever Ted Cruz is, over the past 5 days, I have dedicated my life to watching all 52 episodes of a little known television show known as Game of Thrones.

Have you heard of it?


On Sunday, April 24, 2016, I joined my friends in watching the season premiere of season 6 of Thrones. I watched said episode and, to put it gracefully, I had no idea what the flying fudge was going on.

But it intrigued me. I was concerned for people I had no prior thoughts about. For example, my first experience with Cersei was one of concern. “Awe… she lost someone she loved,” I said to myself. “And this poor, poor, poor woman was forced to walk naked through town with people yelling and spitting at her.” (I have since come to learn that she might be the worst person in the history of history.)

So, on Friday, April 29, 2016, I started with season 1, episode 1. My goal was to watch a couple episodes a night, and be completely caught up by the end of season 6.

Alas, my Lords, Ladies, and once again, whatever Ted Cruz is… that did not happen.

From that Friday, all the way up to Wednesday, May 4, 2016, I would spend my days working my real life job, and then I would spend my nights (sometimes until 3 or 4am) watching episode after episode of this epic drama.

I was obsessed and couldn’t stop.

Usually, I’m really good at being able to do multiple things at once while the television is on, but with this show, it became quite difficult. So much so, that I didn’t focus on the things in my life that I needed to focus on. My main goal in life went from wanting to be a successful marketer/ballerina/writer/Leslie Odom Jr. impersonator/director/actor, to finding a way to get through all 52 episodes before the next episode.

I am glad to announce that I have succeeded, and I have returned to normal-ish (not that I was normal to begin with, but whatever). I will now be returning emails, text messages, taking care of my children, eating food, and preparing for my 2016 endeavors and projects.

I sincerely hope that you all forgive me.

After watching all 52 episodes in 5 days, I must say that my brain hurts. 6 years of emotions, learning family names and lineage, learning the definitions of imp, usurper, and whatever the fart High Valyrian tongue is… I’m having trouble with life. The next couple days will be rough for me as I recover from this binge (Please pray for me as I recover). I must now learn how to not address people as My Lord or My Lady, I must stop wondering if I have a hidden brother out there that can potentially screw up my path to the throne, I must stop checking to make sure my (*clears throat*) anatomy is still in place, and I must stop telling people to “send a raven”, when I really mean, “shoot me a text”.

A special thank you to all of my friends who supported me on this journey. Especially my Game of Thrones nerd/dramaturge … you know who you are … thank you for allowing me to text you every step of the way as I lived through moments that the rest of the world lived through many years ago.

Once again, I thank you for your patience, and I look forward to speaking common tongue with you again soon.

Valar Dohaeris,

PS – I know I’m super late to the Game of Thrones party… but how awesome would it be to have your own direwolf… SERIOUSLY?! My goodness, I want one so bad. (I think I saw one on Groupon.)

PSS – Don’t you think life would be so much easier if the characters in Game of Thrones had wifi access or a text messaging service?

PSSSSSSSSSS – I’m sorry, but if I witnessed a woman giving birth to whatever the poop that was that came out of her fanny-who-ha… I’d be gone. Like forever. I’d be like, “TAKE ME WHITE WALKERS! TAKE ME PLEASE!”

Okay. I’m done now.

4 thoughts on “Dear World, My Sincerest Apologies – Please Forgive Me

  1. This is perhaps the greatest Game of Thrones binge story I have ever heard. Starting with Season 6, then going all the way back and getting at them all? Well done. That’s awesome!

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