It wasn’t too long ago that I was sitting in my bedroom blogging about whether I should follow a career of performing on stage/screen, or whether I should follow a career that guarantees more certainty financially, socially, and personally (Click Here to Read). And today, I am sitting here at my desk in my office, following my second passion, which is marketing.
There is stability in my life now. Knowing how much money I will have at the end of the week … each and every week. Being able to support myself, and buy my friend lunch without having to worry about whether I could afford gas for the drive home. Knowing that I can eat whenever I want, however I want. (There were plenty of days where I’d not eat because I simply couldn’t afford it.
I’m happy. I really am. Though I am not 100% where I would like to be yet when it comes to living a comfortable life, I know that I am currently on the path to doing so. I know that if I continue on the path that I am on right now, I’ll be able to take vacations to Australia, support a wife and kids, watch the Cowboys beat up on the Eagles and Giants on my very own big screen television, ect.
But, as expected, there’s that little voice in the back of my head. That little voice that reminds me what I actually went to school for. That little voice that reminds me of the times that I get to step out on the stage and work alongside some of the most talented people. I mean, I still get to do that, just not to the point where it could support me financially by any means.
As I sit at my desk, I often think back on my younger days when I used to say, “I only want to perform. There’s nothing else I could see myself doing. I’m going to make it to Broadway. I’m going to make it to Hollywood. You’re going to see my name in bright lights one day. You’re going to see me trading jokes with David Letterman and Jon Stewart. You’re going to see me as the host of a late night talk show. You’re going to see me playing Don Cheadle’s son in some espionage thriller set in Africa or something.” I used to say things like this to myself all the time…
Herein lies the problem… though I am perfectly happy with where I am in life at the moment – I still find myself saying those things. I’ll be watching tv or watching a movie and I’ll think to myself, “I can do that. Why is that not me up there?”
Last week, I went to New York Comic Con with my close friend Bill (who knows more about me than most… he’s a great friend.) He invited me to Comic Con after his girlfriend had to back out. I was flattered and very excited. I was excited that I got to spend my day letting my secret nerd blend in with the rest of the world’s nerds and geeks and hot chicks in X-Men costumes. (Giggity) I knew that I’d have a great time.
I was very fortunate to meet Giancarlo Esposito (“Gus” on Breaking Bad, Lavar Burton (Star Trek and Reading Rainbow), Lucy Liu (Charlie’s Angels and Elementary), Rebecca Romijn (X-Men), and Clark Gregg (Marvel’s Agents of Shield). As I was meeting these celebrities at Comic Con, that little voice that I spoke of before, crept back into my mind with each handshake and autograph. That voice kept saying to me, “You’re just like them. You can do what they’re doing. You’re really good at what they do.”
On the train ride home that night, I couldn’t help but ask myself, “What is happiness?” Is happiness finding a way to do what you love? Is happiness accepting that not everything will work out like it does in the movies? Is the route to happiness finding some sort of stability in your life? Is it all of the above?
Am I really happy?
I really, genuinely think and feel as if I am really a happy 27-year-old bachelor from Jersey. Even though I live in New Jersey, believe it or not, things could be worse, and there are people in a lot worse circumstances than me. For that, I will never complain. But sometimes, as I sit here at my desk working on my marketing strategy, I think to myself, “What would life be like if I woke up and my job was to entertain and perform?”
I mean, look … it’s never too late, right? Maybe I’ll continue working this 9-to-5 and make some money, and pave my own path to success. I’ve never been a big fan of following the masses, and those of you who know me know that I don’t usually go about things the traditional way. Maybe I’ll be the exception? Shit, I am one funny YouTube video away from “making it”, right? lol
Honestly, look for 2015 to be a big year for me. Whether it’s through the artistic world, or the corporate world … things will be happening. Big things. I’ve realized over this past year or so WHY I want succeed in life, now it’s a matter of figuring our HOW. I’ll make it happen. Somehow, someway. Perhaps we’ll look back on this moment in five years, and you’ll be able to say, “Hey, I knew that guy back when he wasn’t sure. I knew him back when this was all a dream.”
Stick with me ya’ll. Slowly, but surely, the work will pay off.