#lifeofky – Day 90 through 99: “Recovering From Failure”

Losers never win … and winners never quit …

That is a phrase I have heard quite a few times throughout my life, but it wasn’t until this year that I really started to think about what that phrase actually meant. I started to think, “How does this apply to my life?”

I labeled 2013 as “The Year I Played Catch Up”. A small part of me feels as though I took some strides forward in my artistic career, but another (big) part of me feels as though I have taken so many steps back emotionally and personally.

Finished reading "Lean In" by Sheryl Sandberg this week. It is a very good book! I highly recommend it! Now, I gotta decide what I want to read next...
Finished reading “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg this week. It is a very good book! I highly recommend it! Now, I gotta decide what I want to read next…

Because of this, when I am having a rough week (emotionally), I get really down on myself, prompting me to ask myself, “Am I failing life right now?”

Failure and the fear of failure is such a powerful emotion – not just inside me, but inside millions of people like me all over the world. Quite honestly, my fear of failure comes in second to my fear of death.

I have told people my feelings on this before. When I tell them this, they usually respond with the following:

“How to you overcome your fear of failure?”

Well, I overcome it three ways: Faith, Positivity, and Perseverance.

FAITH

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” -Hebrews 11:1

Don’t click away … you don’t have to worry, I am not going to give you a sermon on the mount … but hear me out …

I am not deeply religious person, but I am faithful. And that verse stands out to me because (in my personal opinion) it is saying, “Faith begins where human understanding and reasoning ends.”

I have made a lot of mistakes over the past two years, mistakes that have hurt other people in some instances. But between my parents and the hope that everything will get better, those are the two things that have helped me get through it all. I just have faith that I won’t fail…

POSITIVITY

You are what you eat … right? (I mean, just look at the obesity rate here in the United States … we are definitely what we eat.)

Don’t worry, I am going somewhere with this…

What I have realized (and I am no scientist, so take this with a grain of salt if you want) is that the “you are what you eat” mentality applies to us physically AND MENTALLY as well.

What you think about on a daily basis and what you allow to filter into your mind’s eye will immediately effect your overall perception and attitude … not just about yourself, but about a variety of things and people.

Okay, I’ll give you an example – have you ever woke up in the morning and just knew you were going to have “one of those days”? If you simply accept the “fact” that your day is going to be shitty, then guess what? It’s gonna be shitty. But if you stay positive and, you know, do something to make sure your day isn’t shitty … then perhaps it may not turn out as bad as you think. Stay positive.

This is the standpoint that I take every morning when my alarm goes off. It’s hard, but it’s worth it when I go to sleep at night.

PERSEVERANCE

“If at first you don’t succeed … then skydiving isn’t for you…”

Umm… I mean…

“If at first you don’t succeed … try, try again.”

Everybody has heard that cliché line like 8 billion times (especially if you are a big fan of Aaliyah. #aaliyahshoutout #rip). Okay, so you’ve heard it many times, but how many times have you actually applied it to your life?

Did you know that it took Thomas Edison over 15,000 tries to perfect the lightbulb? Whenever I feel like I suck at life and that I should just give up, I think about I can make a big difference in people’s lives if I attempted my failed issue 14,999 more times … just like Mr. Edison did. You see, if he gave up after his 4th or 5th attempt … we’d all (presumably) be sitting by candlelight right now.

Here’s the God’s honest truth: I know for a fact that I have the self-motivation to never give up and just quit. Listen, I know that there is no such thing as a “free lunch”. Everything that I get out of life will be because I worked my ass for it. Nobody owes me anything in life, so “not failing” will take time and it will take effort.

I guess the real question is: “Will I (or you) do what I (you) need to do to take control of my (your) life and pushing forward to meet my (your) goals? Or will will I (you) give in to all of my (your) life’s failures?

The choice is mine (yours).

UPDATES

George Street Playhouse

Things are going fairly normal, though it is starting to take a toll on my back. It also doesn’t help that where I sleep every night is starting to hurt my back too… #addingstress :/

I have mentioned before how much a love this job and the people that I work with … but holy cow, I cannot wait until we have an extended break because I really need to rest from this everyday wear and tear, especially given the fact that my day doesn’t ever end at the end of a GSP work day.

Pennington Players

Last Tuesday, I was re-elected as President of The Pennington Players. I was very happy because we got so much done during my 2013 tenure, and I have some big plans for my 2014 tenure.

CATS – Broadway Theatre of Pitman

We are two rehearsals into our production and things are looking very good so far. This cast picks things up very quickly. I am praying that this continues because we have a lot to get done in a very short amount of time. They are also extremely talented dancers and singers. When I watch them during these rehearsals, I immediately become envious of the fact that I cannot dance as well as they can…

Other Shit

+Tonight, I auditioned for Les Mis at Kelsey Theatre. There are a lot of very talented people that I know are coming out to audition for this show, so I am hoping that I get the chance to join a cast that I already know will be special. I am shooting for Marius, but I will gladly taken any of the male leads.

+I saw MPO’s production of Spamalot this past weekend. Special shout-out to the cast and crew on a fun show!

+Also, special shout-out to Aimee Robidoux on her cabaret last Friday. I heard it was great! Congrats!

+I saw Thor … it was pretty good. I actually liked it better than the first one.

+Oh, and lastly, and this is kinda important… I plan on laying low from social media for the rest of 2013. In fact, the only time I plan on using it is to update you guys about my blog, and maybe some other instances. And by laying low, I also mean that I’ll be laying low from people in real life too. I am going to spend the last month and a half of 2013 finishing my book. Earlier this year, I started writing a book called “Don’t Worry America…I Solved Racism”. I put that one on the back-burner for a bit because I got an idea for another book. This new book (currently untitled) will be around 100-ish pages. I am hoping to have the first draft finished by the end of the year.

Okay, that’s it for now 🙂 I’ll ttyl! Thanks for reading!

ky

PS – #lifeofky now has over 3,000 fans! Thanks!!! #humbled

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