#LIFEOFKY – MY LIFE AS AN ACTOR – DAY 8: “Inspite of All My Suffering, Something Within Me Laughs and Sings”

+7am, my alarm goes off. Not only did I wake up with no problem, but I also GOT OUT OF BED with no problem. I took a quick shower and was actually ready to leave out my door by 7:45am. At 8am, I was all caught up on Facebook, Twitter, GMAIL, ESPN, and all of the latest news in the world.

IMG_0656[1]+I had my dad drop me off at the train station. I was dropped off at the train station at 8:15am, with a plan to catch the 8:32am train out of Hamilton. When I arrived, I bumped into my old UNO co-worker and good friend Courtney. It was a pleasant surprise and a great way to start the day. All was going well………

+A train pulled into the station at 8:30am, on the opposite side of the tracks (the Trenton side), going toward New York. We were informed that due to a downed power line, 2 of the tracks were taken off service and that there would be 20 minute delays. The train that was currently in the station going into New York was a super express train, which meant that it went from Hamilton, to Princeton, and then straight to Newark Airport … no New Brunswick stop. This meant that I was going to have to wait until the next northbound train arrived.

+Long story short, my train did not arrive in the station until 9:15am and didn’t leave the station until 9:20am. Which was great seeing that I had to be in New Brunswick by 9:30am. I called my stage manger and told her the situation, she didn’t seem too pleased… and I do not blame her one bit. I’ve had so many issues getting there via NJTransit these past two weeks and it SUCKS.

+I ended up getting to GSP at 10am, which meant I was 30 minutes late. The whole trains ride there, I was LIVID with NJTransit. I wanted to punch something or someone … but on the other end, I guess it was ultimately my fault, even though I tried being as early as possible.

+When I arrived, I was called into my boss’ office. It was the equivalent of being called into the principal’s office in the middle of class. I walked as slowly as possible, knowing full well that I was about to get reemed out. Of course, to get to my boss’ office, I had to pass everybody else’s office … which is pretty much a walk of shame. Nobody was saying anything to me, it’s like they also knew what was coming.

+I walked into his office and immediately closed the door. I sat down and immediately started apologizing, explaining today’s situation. I knew as soon as the words were coming out of my mouth that he wasn’t looking for excuses.

+I’ll skip the specifics of our conversation, but it pretty much came down to this: If I am late again, even by one minute, I’m fired.

+In professional theatrical atmospheres, what I was doing is simply NOT acceptable. It doesn’t matter what the excuse is. After I left his office, I walked into the bathroom, hid in a stall for 2 minutes and punched the stall wall repeatedly, slightly busting open my hand. Of course, toward the end of my tirade, my boss walked into the restroom as well. Luckily, he missed my flip-out session.

+Words cannot describe how embarrassed I was when I returned to my cast and stage manager. So much so, I pulled my baseball cap as low over my eyes as much as possible. I was so ridiculously embarrassed. It was so unprofessional of me and it was completely not fair to them. I apologized repeatedly to them. Hopefully they will learn how uncharacteristic of me this is.

+Fortunately, that was the lowest point of the day. Of course, things got better from that point. We started working on a new show for our rep company. There isn’t any music in this new piece, but it does require me to learn a brand new, made-up language called “Homelander”.


+For lunch, I got a Subway pulled pork sandwich which was delicious. I ate it outside in the park on my own. (My cast mates went to go get Starbucks and FroYo.)

+After lunch, we started test driving the van that we’ll be driving all around the tri-state area. We all took a turn driving. Luckily, everybody is a really good driver, so there shouldn’t be any problems there. (We’ll see how things are driving when the van is full of set pieces and costumes. #differentstory)

+After the test drive, we spent the rest of the day doing some great physical and language exercises to get us ready for this new piece we’re working on.

+We finished at 5:45pm and I immediately walked over to the train station, where I caught the 6:12pm train from New Brunswick to Hamilton. Of course, the trains were working PERFECTLY by this point.


+My father picked me up from the train station and dropped me off at Kelsey Theatre where I am currently sitting in Forum rehearsal. (Yes, I should be paying attention right now.)

+Forum rehearsal went well. We were missing John Z. tonight due to his vacation. He is the engine of this entire show, so it’s tough to run this show without him. Kinda drains the energy. Matt South covered for John though and he did a splendid job. 🙂

+Alright, I am going to hit the bed. I am going to try the train again tomorrow … let’s hope it works out a little better this go ‘round… I’ll keep you updated.

I’ll leave you with this poem by Angela Morgan…

In spite of war, in spite of death, 
In spite of all man’s sufferings, 
Something within me laughs and sings 
And I must praise with all my breath. 
In spite of war, in spite of hate 
Lilacs are blooming at my gate, 
Tulips are tripping down the path 
In spite of war, in spite of wrath. 
“Courage!” the morning-glory saith; 
“Rejoice!” the daisy murmureth, 
And just to live is so divine 
When pansies lift their eyes to mine. 

The clouds are romping with the sea, 
And flashing waves call back to me 
That naught is real but what is fair, 
That everywhere and everywhere 
A glory liveth through despair. 
Though guns may roar and cannon boom, 
Roses are born and gardens bloom; 
My spirit still may light its flame 
At that same torch whence poppies came. 
Where morning’s altar whitely burns 
Lilies may lift their silver urns 
In spite of war, in spite of shame. 

And in my ear a whispering breath, 
“Wake from the nightmare! Look and see 
That life is naught but ecstasy 
In spite of war, in spite of death!”


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